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This post was last updated on March 28th, 2019 at 10:22 am
In life, we aren’t always the people that we want to be. This isn’t in a jealousy sense or comparing ourselves to others. It’s not even wanting to look like someone else or have someone else’s life. That’s a whole other issue. But what this does look like in reality, is that we limit ourselves. We hold ourselves back. We settle. We get into an autopilot way of living and we stay there. And it’s hard. But more importantly, it isn’t something that you have to live with.
More often than not, we find ourselves on a path. And it may not be the path that we intended to be on. Yet it is the path that you’re on. Sometimes, this can be that you’ve followed a path that your family wanted for you, or you’ve been influenced by friends, or sometimes, it’s even that you’ve settled into a life that your partner wants, and not what you want. No matter how this happens, you can feel unsettled and eventually, enough will be enough.
Because that’s the thing about being on the wrong path or not living up to your potential. It wears thin. And you won’t settle forever. Because you’ll get restless and sometimes, resentful. So this is why you need to recognise when you’re feeling this way and then work to do something about it. Yet, when you’re stuck, it’s hard to even know how you’re going to get out. Let’s take a look at fifteen steps that might just help you.
1. Understand How You’re Feeling
To begin with, you need to understand what’s going on in your mind. You need to workout why you’re not happy and pinpoint the emotions, the triggers, and try to identify what’s holding you back. Because if you’re unsatisfied or stuck, there will be a reason for it. So try to tune in with your feelings to work out if it’s how you’re living, how you’re thinking, or how you’re acting.
2. Know What You Want
As you’re starting to become aware of what’s wrong, you can also start to work out what you ant. And this isn’t easy. But there are things you can do (as we’ll go through in the next few points) to work out what that looks like. So really try to work out what’s going to make you happy.
3. Know What’s Not Right
But then, you need to get uncomfortable. You have to open that can of works and address the things that aren’t right in your life. The things that are stopping you from being happy. Maybe it’s your career or how you spend your time socially? Maybe it’s your relationship and you need to bring in family law lawyers to help you? Maybe it’s your own attitude and kindness to yourself? Sometimes, facing what’s not right in your life can help you to work out what will be right.
4. Focus On Happiness
And if you’re still not sure, then you need to focus on the idea of happiness. What does it look like to you? What do you look like in your mind when you’re happy? What are you doing? How are you living? How are you feeling? How do you relax? What are you doing for work? Really focus on the idea of happiness and the visualise the ultimate of what that actually looks like.
5. Focus On How You Feel
But that’s not all. Yes, focusing on what will make you happy is a really easy way to work out what you ant. But it’s also a little misleading. Because here, you’ll often think about things or an ideal life. Instead, you need to think about how you’re feeling and how you want to feel every day. Because when you know what’s going to allow you to feel happier, this points you in the direction of what you should be doing for the best.
6. Look To Your Childhood Dreams
However, it’s not always that easy for you to work out why you need to change or how. What’s right for you? Or hat you want. Then stop worrying, stop over-analysing, and step backward. Sometimes, when you look at your childhood dreams and what you loved to do when you were little, it all seems clear. Because back then, you were innocent. You were you – without influence. So really turn to this.
7. Pursue Your Interests
Another really simple way to work this out is to look at your interests. And then pursue them. Do you love to run or read or pamper or play sports or write or just about anything else? It’s scary to change your routine and your habits, but do it. Start to look at what you love to do and do it. Even the action of spending more time on interests is going to make you happy.
8. Follow A Passion
As a step on from that, you’re then going to think about what you’re passionate about. Do you love design or teaching? Do you love health or sports? Or maybe arts or people? Think about what you’re passionate about and bring it closer to you. Maybe you want to do this for work or dedicate your life to it? If you do, then it’s time to work no that.
9. Start Again
It may even be that you need to work on your career and make a change for the better? Do you need to work on starting over? Do you need to find a new career path? If you need to go back to school or learn something new, quit your job or start a side hustle, go for it. It’s just so important for you to be able to move in the right direction going forward.
10. Say Goodbye
As a step on from that, you may even have to start again with relationships. Maybe you need to leave your partner or end a relationship? Maybe you need to walk away from friendships? If they’re toxic and walking away is for the best, it’s time to be strong and do it.
It may even be that you need to physically move. Do you need to relocate to be happy? Are you living in the wrong place? Do you wish to be somewhere else? Then it’s time to start to put the wheels in motion and finally move.
12. Move On
From here, you then need to be able to move on. And moving on with your life can feel concrete or painful. But it’s important. Because as soon as you start moving, you’ll find that you can really accomplish your goals. It’s okay to leave an unhappy relationship for your own happiness. And it’s okay to meet someone new. In fact, it’s important. So let yourself love again.
13. Be Brave
Sometimes, this skill can be hard to work on, but we all have it in us somewhere. And it’s to be brave. To try and let go of your fears. Or, even better, feel the fears and work past them anyway. If you don’t think that you can do this or you have no idea how to do it, then there are ways to be fearless and to work on becoming brave. Once you start, you’ll realise that you can overcome your fears and you can change your life.
14. Keep Moving
Sure, you’re not always going to feel strong or motivated or even like you’ve made the right choice. You’ll doubt yourself and you’ll have times where you’re freaked out and scared of all the changes you made. But keep going. Trust your instinct and that you know what’s best for you. To help you, consistency can really work for you here. Because when you’re being consistent, it helps you to working towards your happiness and building a life that you love.
15. Don’t Be Afraid To Step Back
And finally, if you feel as if you’ve taken a wrong turn at some point, don’t beat yourself up about it. Just keep going. It’s okay to make mistakes or decisions that ultimately aren’t right for you or your future. But what matters is how you handle them. It’s okay to step back and reassess, and to point yourself in a more suitable direction. Whether that is with your love life or work or social life. You can start again, as long as it’s right for you.
So now you know. You know that you do not have to stay as you are today if you are unhappy or unsatisfied or unfulfilled. If you have always had dreams. Big, grandiose dreams, and you’re ambitious, why not change? Why not go after them? Why not have that life that you’ve always wanted? And sure, you’re going to have to get really uncomfortable to begin with, but it’s worth it. it’s worth it to do something that you love, to live in a way that fulfils you, to feel happy.
By taking each of these steps, you can and you will invoke the change that you’re so desperately in need of. Whether you know it or not! You can go from unhappy and stagnating to fulfilled and over the moon with your life, just by going after what you know you really want. So what are you waiting for?
*This post is brought to you in partnership with Fat Jo Ltd